Note 3 ☕️
3.
Disappointment is an empty makeup tube.
Today, as in present day, anxiety is tearing up my stomach. Nearly 20 years ago, I caked on my makeup to hide the butterfly rash forming across the bridge of my nose and expanding to my cheeks. Today, I can see the entrance of another butterfly as the rash across my face becomes more pronounced. Not sure if the return of the butterfly is a full-circle moment or a warning.
Pardon my French – WTF!
When I gazed into my bathroom mirror, I wasn’t expecting to see the rash, nor my non-existent eyebrow hairs, nor the intensely dark circles under my eyes. My favorite concealers from MAC and Smashbox were empty. I tried to squeeze some Sephora concealer on my finger to no avail. That, too, was empty. Armed with Fenty foundation and some MAC spf 35 concealer, I made my face as best I could. Today’s makeup looked and felt dry like day-old toast forgotten in the toaster. How quaint.
Instead of giving myself time to process my current bathroom mirror situationship, I simply kept applying foundation and concealer. Inside my makeup drawer, I discovered some “bye bye undereye” concealer and threw that under my eyes. Then I blended all the colors and added eye makeup and lipstick.
The makeup application was complete, but I was not. Trying not to admit I’m sicker than last week, and the week before that, and the week before that. The fact is… the prednisone – a double-edged sword – isn’t helping as it once did.
Neither is my makeup application.
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